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“That Doesn’t Look Like Me”: Why Do We Look Different In The Mirror vs. Photographs?

Every now and again, I sit with a client and go through their images post-shoot, and within 2 seconds I hear: “That doesn’t look like me”. It’s a common experience, and the answer to why we can feel this way lies in the subtle but fascinating differences between mirrored reflections and photographs. It’s not your photographer, it’s science and reality.

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The Mirror Flip

When you look in a mirror, you’re seeing a reversed image of yourself. Your reflection flips the left and right sides of your face. This is the version of you that you’re most accustomed to seeing every day—when brushing your teeth, fixing your hair, or checking your outfit. Because of this familiarity, your brain has likely formed a preference for your mirrored image.

In contrast, photographs show you as others see you—unflipped and more “true to life.” This unflipped view can feel unfamiliar and might highlight asymmetries that you’re not used to noticing. While everyone has facial asymmetry to some degree, seeing it in an unfamiliar way can sometimes be surprising… to say the least .

Lighting, Angles, and the Photographer’s Eye

Another key reason for the difference lies in lighting and angles. The lighting in your bathroom or bedroom mirror might be lower / darker, hiding some imperfections. In contrast, the lighting in a photograph can vary significantly depending on the environment or the photographer’s setup. Shadows, highlights, and perspective all play a role in how your features are captured.

Angles also matter. The angle you naturally choose when looking in the mirror might be your most flattering—you’ve subconsciously learned how to position your face to see yourself in the best light. A photograph, on the other hand, captures you from a single moment and perspective, which might not align with your preferred angle.

So What Can We Do To Reconcile The Differences?

The good news is that you can work with your photographer to achieve a look you love.  Professional photographers understand the impact of angles, lighting, and posture on the final image. Communicate openly with them about your preferences. For example, you can:

  • Share which side of your face you prefer, but give your photographer some leeway to experiment with slight variations – you might be pleasantly surprised!
  • Work with your photographer to achieve lighting that best works for your facial symmetry (for example, lighting that creates more shadows might not work for you)
  • Request a background color that works best with your complexion and will help soften the image (stark white versus soft light gray).
  • Experiment with poses to find the most comfortable and confident look.

A professional photographer will guide you through the whole process, helping you relax and achieve your best self. The goal of any great portrait is to capture YOU at your best.

Embrace The Differences

Ultimately, both the mirror and photographs capture aspects of who you are. Embrace the quirks and asymmetries that make you unique. Whether it’s your go-to mirror selfie or a professionally taken portrait, every image reflects the multi-faceted and unique person you are.